Broderick Cooper the fledgling vampire

Name: Broderick Cooper
Age: 22
Vampire
Hair colour: black brown 
Eye colour: brown

description:

Broderick is a some what tall stocky man at 184 cm tall or 6.0 foot, he has been fighting since he was able, and going to any length to learn how to fight better like the martial artist of old he read about, his main hobby is reading about the supernatural and myths of old whenever his mother found one, find it hard to back down from a fight and can sometime be a bit over protective of his friends and the people he trusts, since his farther left him when he was young he finds it hard to people but when he does there is no one more loyal then him.

Audition: I remember the embrace like it was last week, snowing and cold as hell however it was still a lovely watching the first snow fall and the beams of light bouncing of the frozen icy steps. I remember the people like giant balls of fur trying to continue their busy lives, faces flushed with blood to help keep warm. I remember the faint sound of screaming and a plead of help coming from the forgotten alley, I looked around to see if any one else heard the commotion but they continued their busy lives not caring for the fates of others, or perhaps they all read knew what was in store for the victim and any would be hero.
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​Steeling myself i ventured in to the alley, the faint smell of iron hangs in the air and sobbing can be herd i follow the hopeless sobbing the metallic smell getting stronger and then the sight that will stay with me in the back of my mind so foul no man could have lived from visaral and gore, and large parts that no body can live with out spread around like the bodies were put through a wood chipper. Holding in my lunch i looked to the left and near the dumpster is the sobbing girl petrified still  face staring off in to the distance, and there in the epicenter hunched over the body of another girl was a man but not a man more like a shriveled old corpse.
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​Quietly i reached the sobbing girl unnoticed by the corpse man still gorging on the girl, grabbing her face i whisper to run still in shock she did nothing, so i met her gaze and said it a little bit louder while lightly shaking her, snapping out of her trance she only nodded we moved as silently as possible we reached half way to the threshold of the dammed alley, seeing this the sobbing girl bolted to freedom knocking over a few metal trash cans, well there went all my luck, the corpse man's head snapped to my location opening his mouth an inhuman screech came from his dry lips, eyes filled with rage he ran towards me his body moving like no humans could.
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​I looked for any thing to protect my self with, and with my draining luck a found a nailed 2x4, grabbing my last line of defense i looked back at the corpse man and only thanks to my many years of fighting i just manage to dodge his taloned hand, throwing him of balance i hit him three times the nails biting in to his face he was unfazed so i went for a disabling blow right on the back of his neck, however his hand shot out faster then the eye could see he garbed the 2x4 and snapped it like a twig, then he lifted he of the ground by my neck chocking me with inhuman strength, his shriveled face grinning he laughed while bringing his head closer to my neck, getting closer and closer he stopped like he herd some think bring his face back he looked a me with saddened eyes, eyes that felt like he missed a huge feast and slit my neck, crumbling to the ground my limbs grew heavier and the darkness creep over me, i felt a presence over me i fell so cold my limbs like stone i manage to open one eye, and what do i see but this little girl like a doll skin as white like snow and hair a black as the shadows and then she said " you managed well for a human even hit him a few times, i like that in a person, so i will give you a deal you can either die here or die and be reborn, all you have to do is nod, nod and you may even have vengeance upon your killer, i looked in her eyes and nodded, she smiled and said "welcome to your new life."
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​I remember all of this because it has only been a week since my death, since my rebirth.
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​i'm sorry if it's a bit long but it sought of spewed out, as well as if there is any thing wrong with my grammar just call me up if some thing sound wrong or if you what me to change any thing 
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​thanks